I've had numerous discussions with black women in the Phoenix area about black men and where to find the good ones!
First, I have to preface this blog entry by saying I'm not gay and I don't go around town looking for black men! However, I've been tempted to write about this for quite some time because I know many professional, beautiful and single women who are looking for that special man to complement their lives.
I was convinced that I needed to step up to the plate and offer my advice after watching an Oprah show about the top 5 cities in America where women could find single men over the age of 35. It was actually an interesting show.
OK, I didn't do any hardcore research to write about this topic. I didn't go out to public places with a notepad and pencil and count how many single black men were in the vicinity. I didn't send any surveys to my fellow black male friends. I'm offering this advice based purely on my observations while I've been out and about in Phoenix over the years.
Here's my list of the top 5 places for women to find professional, single black men over the age of 25 in the Phoenix area. Drumroll please ...
5. Local Gyms - I can't give specifics on which gyms have the highest volume of brothas, but I guarantee that women will have success at these places - especially in the evenings. You women have to be open to engaging in conversations though! I can't count how many times my brothas have complained about women who gave them attitude at LA Fitness or Bally's!
4. Churches - I would hope that everyone attends church to hear the Word, but I've also heard that church is a great place to meet a mate. I can't lie, I've dated a few women that I met at church. Sorry I can't list specific churches that are teeming with single black men, but if you need to find out where all the black churches are in the Valley, I suggest that you pick up a copy of the Arizona Informant. The newspaper lists just about every black church here.
3. Sports Venues - This is tricky because when a man goes to a stadium to watch a game, he's mainly concentrated on the game! However, men always take the time to notice the "scenery" at the stadiums. I must say that I've seen some of the finest women in my life at Arizona Diamondbacks, Cardinals and Phoenix Suns games! The key for women is to be strategic in a sports environment.
First, a woman who wants to be noticed at a sports game must look good! You should have an understated look - wear nice jeans, a cute, form-fitting shirt or a form-fitting jersey, not much make-up and you should be genuinely enjoying your experience at the game (you look more approachable if you look happy)! Don't dress hoochie - excessive cleavage or short skirts are not recommended because true sports fans don't wear those type of clothes in a sports environment. You look like a groupie if you dress hoochie.
Second, you should actually be a fan of the team you are watching! Men love a woman who knows her sports! You can even scream at the players if you want to be noticed, just don't be vulgar about it!
Lastly, I would encourage women to tailgate (hang out at the game a few hours before it starts). Tailgating is usually done at football games. I think it would be sexy as hell to see a group of 3-5 attractive women hanging outside the stadium with a RV or large truck, eating and having a few drinks. I guarantee that you'll meet tons of men (of ALL races) if you tailgate!
2. House Parties or Networking Socials - These are by far the most relaxed environments for meeting a possible mate. There are plenty of house parties and networking socials in town. The key is to find civic or professional groups and people that you are comfortable with. I would encourage people who are new to Phoenix to read newspapers to find professional groups who regularly host socials. Honestly, I think house parties or networking socials offer the best opportunities to meet your match because you are usually around people who share common interests with you.
1. Nightclubs - Sorry to say it, but you'll find the largest volume of black men at the clubs. Clubs here are going to offer quantity, not quality. However, I have to believe that some of these brothas are going to be good catches.
You will definitely find a gang of black men in the "white" Scottsdale clubs like Suede, Axis/Radius and e4. You're taking a risk in going to the Scottsdale clubs because most of these "brothas" are on the prowl for snowbunnies. However, I have faith that my sistas can reel in these "snowflake searchers" if they go about it the right way!
OK, I hope this blog is helpful. I encourage my readers to post their Comments on my blog! Remember, this is not a scientific study ... this is just my advice based on observations!
Also, if black women are interested in learning more about the mindset of African American men in Phoenix, I encourage you to read my post, "How Black Women Can Woo Black Men in Phoenix."
I enjoyed reading this. I'd also like to add the library (watch out at Burton Barr), gas station and Whole Foods. Surprisingly, I'm always approached in those places. Oh, and I totally agree about the house parties. One more, THE AIRPORT. Best catch a brotha skraight off da plane. LOL!
Posted by: Blkgrl | September 21, 2009 at 03:33
Thank you for the great information. I am relocating to Arizona from Tennessee and I am looking forward to a positive change.
Posted by: parkway | September 06, 2008 at 22:23
i live here in atlanta, iwant to move to phoenix so i can date white women.
Posted by: yguindo | June 08, 2007 at 16:27
Good point DatingRight!
Posted by: PhxSoul | June 03, 2007 at 22:18
Wonderful information. Just wanted to add that I have found the #1 place to find a good black man is at Charitable events. Look for the black charities in your area and find out when the are having their big events. You will probably find some quality brothers.
DATING THE RIGHT MAN: 5 Places To Find Professional Men
Posted by: Datingright | June 03, 2007 at 20:41
All I can say is "bravo"! As a recent implant from the Chi, I have been hard pressed to see Black men in the area. I do see some with the other white meat a lot but flying solo is another deal in itself. I'll have to test some of your places to see what's really poppin' in Phoenix.
Thanks!
Posted by: Chifox | May 17, 2007 at 13:28
Hopefully, I'll write the "how-to-woo-a-black-man" blog later this month. I think it's very for black women to find and get a black man in Phoenix. However, KEEPING a black man interested and faithful is a WHOLE different story. I'll touch on that later ...
Posted by: PhxSoul | May 10, 2007 at 09:03
This was very helpful! It has been quite a challenge to find a good, professional black man in Phoenix. I'm looking forward to reading your next blog on how to woo a black man. Don't keep us waiting too long!
Posted by: Ash | April 30, 2007 at 17:46